This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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