he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
