I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
