when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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