well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
