so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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