genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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