I accidentally had phone sex last night
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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