just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
