jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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