entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
