I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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