I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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