you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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