me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
