forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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