youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
