dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
