i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
