You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
