Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
And then he peed in my hair
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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