You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
