everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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