My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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