I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
