That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
