in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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