I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
