Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
