He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
