Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i dont even know how to be here
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
