Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
