Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
