Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
