Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry about my life...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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