I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize