apparently the secret to your success is patron
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
