I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
