I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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