And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
