We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
