Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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