you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
