On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
