the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
