i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
