I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
