do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
