its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Congratulations! We have a period
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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