did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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