Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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