you guys were way drunker than both of me
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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