i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
